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indiscriminate_slagFor the most part, coming out as trans has been a good experience for me. I'm much happier and much more comfortable in myself than I've been in a very long time. Still, I occasionally have shitty days where I let negative emotions get in the way. This is one of those days.
Watch out, for below the cut are grammatical errors galore, random tangents, and general grumpiness.
It wasn't easy to realize this about myself, btw. I'd always felt a bit "off", but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why. And several people have pointed out certain behaviors, my sense of humor, the ways I dress, etc. were all under the umbrella of what mainstream Western society considers "male". I think a lot of that comes from gender prescriptivism, as those types of things don't make anyone a man, just like certain behaviors don't make anyone a woman.
I don't know, I think a lot of my issues stem from the fact that story of realizing my true gender identity does not match the most common narrative. A lot of the stories I see are ones where the author knew from the get-go that they were born into the wrong body. Mine wasn't that easy, and it made me doubt myself for years. I identified as genderqueer for a bit because I figured that's what I was, but I felt so dishonest. It's taken me more than ten years to accept and love myself and to undo a lot of mental conditioning, but it's worth it.
I still worry about coming out to more people. I worry about coming out to my parents, which is why I am planning on moving out again ASAP. Just in case they totally disown me, I'll have somewhere to stay. I worry about coming out at work. I worry about my friends who DON'T know not accepting me and not wanting their kids to be around me.
Sorry not sorry for my second entry to be so depressing. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.
Watch out, for below the cut are grammatical errors galore, random tangents, and general grumpiness.
It wasn't easy to realize this about myself, btw. I'd always felt a bit "off", but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why. And several people have pointed out certain behaviors, my sense of humor, the ways I dress, etc. were all under the umbrella of what mainstream Western society considers "male". I think a lot of that comes from gender prescriptivism, as those types of things don't make anyone a man, just like certain behaviors don't make anyone a woman.
I don't know, I think a lot of my issues stem from the fact that story of realizing my true gender identity does not match the most common narrative. A lot of the stories I see are ones where the author knew from the get-go that they were born into the wrong body. Mine wasn't that easy, and it made me doubt myself for years. I identified as genderqueer for a bit because I figured that's what I was, but I felt so dishonest. It's taken me more than ten years to accept and love myself and to undo a lot of mental conditioning, but it's worth it.
I still worry about coming out to more people. I worry about coming out to my parents, which is why I am planning on moving out again ASAP. Just in case they totally disown me, I'll have somewhere to stay. I worry about coming out at work. I worry about my friends who DON'T know not accepting me and not wanting their kids to be around me.
Sorry not sorry for my second entry to be so depressing. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.
